Home is Where the Heart Is...

If my heart is found in your town, please do let me know.

I've left St. Augustine and I'm back in Tampa, but...well, as much as sometimes both these places felt like home, now...

No sad things, even if this is more morose musing than actually sad. I want to find that place where I belong. Maybe it's waiting in California (isn't Pasadena Geek Capital of the World? And close to L.A. too...) or in NYC with Mary and Craig or in Texas or Britain. Who knows?

When Did I Become a Romantic Comedy Herione And How Can I Make It Stop?

So, I've just realised something about myself. Actually, I think I've always known, but I finally articulated out loud:

I'm a career woman. I'm determined and ambitious and going to succeed in my chosen profession of acting came hell or high water. When did this happen? When did I stop being a dreamy girl with her head in the clouds and her wedding all planned out. The only thing about any future nuptials I may have that I care about is I want my mom to make my dress and Charm City Cakes to make the cake.

Sure, I still get stupid over a cute person, but I am sabotaging myself deliberately and mostly unintentionally. I never expect to stay in any one place so I can't get attached because the relationship will have a due by date. My job will be beautiful and terrifying and amazing, but it's a gypsy's life. If I don't learn to take chances even with a deadline looming, it'll be another five years before I have a date, maybe longer.

I love my job, I really truly do. I'm not even sure I should call it a job, because it's my life. And when did my life become about one thing?

This isn't meant to be maudlin, but lieblings, just reflective. Huh.

No More to Tread Them Boards

So last night was the last time I'm ever going to walk the Flagler College stage. And I'm okay with that. I feel as though I should be more morose about that. I mean, Bobbi-Jo actually cried when she took her last bow on the stage and I was like, meh. Then again, it wasn't really home, well no more than any stage is a little piece of home for me. And so many people are trying to get me to be excited to be an alum (when I graduate in thirteen days), but I'm not.

Curtain Call is my theatre. Howard W. Blake is my school. If I'm ever in a position to be particularly generous with time or money, it's these institutions who get it. Not USF, although I had good friends and enjoyed (most of) my time there. Not Flagler, even though the same things apply. Curtain Call and Blake are parts of my home.

As for where feels like home...I'm still searching for that.. Who knows? It may end up being L.A. or New York or maybe Vancouver or Dallas or Nashville. I don't know exactly where this manic, unpredictable, beautiful, crazy job of mine will take me.

I like that.

Wanderings Recap

Okay so my wanderings for yesterday (downtown) and today (uptown):

Friday
1. Put in a p/t job application @ Scents of St. Augustine-it smells really good in there.
2. Visited the Taco Shop for the first time and have since decided it's an acceptable AWESOME TACOS NOMNOM until I return to Tampa and my beloved Chipotle's Chipotle's chips are still far superior. Thicker and lime-flavoured FTW Not to mention, I think the place itself is the taco equivalent of Ten Inch Hero's Beach City Grill.
3. Couldn't get my chocolate lime balls fix=sad; cooed at the hermit crabs @ Bombay Trading Company=happy
4. Lots of tourists to wander through and school kids to mess with. Always fun

Saturday
1. Ate a v. v. greasy piece of pizza (the kind where the grease dribbles off for five full minutes when you pick it up). Justified that twenty minute walk to get to said pizza canceled out all fat and calories. $4.50
2. Poked into little antiques store-scored the pirate pitcher I wanted and a beautiful fairy mug for $2.12 (buck each and tax)
3. Waked even frigging farther for a yard sale, where I bought a cute pair of dangly, but light purple earrings. $1
4. Spent $7.12 on everything, walked a lot, and my feet hurt. Good day all in all.

Feeling Electric

I have finally started on my organizations of my life. I'm working through all those pages I've torn out of magazines (half of which have gone bye-bye) and my clothes, books, photos, everything. I'm determined to get this all done before I finish in St. Augustine because an even more daunting task awaits me back in Tampa. I need the organization because I don't know how much I'll need when I go wherever I go and I don't want too much or too little.

Next task is to finish my rough draft of my senior seminar paper. (P.S. the organizing is so not a way to procrastinate on that *tralala* not at all). I'm determined to get through three pages a day and I should be all set by the time Tuesday comes around.

Sending the Good Thoughts

Happy birthday, Jensen Ackles! You, sir, are like a multi-layered parfait of awesome. May you have a truly wonderful day and a great month and a fabulous year! And may this year bring you the gorram Emmy nod you've been deserving since season two!

Secondly, Jared Padalecki, congratulations on your marriage. May life be the kind of roller-coaster you never want to stop riding (yes, that is a little odd, but it was clever and heartfelt in my head).

May both of you have all the happiness you could want (I was going to say all the happiness in the world, but that seemed both overly sappy and a logical fallacy).

No Boys Allowed!

So the sleepover last night? Was. Awesome.

We played Project Runway and, I have to say, the tinfoil dress I wore was fabulous! I helped design it and decided on the details and I worked it on the runway! Tim Gunn would be proud.

We ate so much junk food and played silly games (Apples to Apples, tossing the Truth Ball). We all giggled and laughed and had way too much fun! We even signed pillow cases for each other. Mine's so huge, I'll have to shove three pillows in it!

Then came the films: Mamma Mia, Shaun of the Dead, and (victory!) Ten Inch Hero. Loved it all!