No One in Your Life is With You Constantly

Ianto Jones. I honestly don’t know what to do without you. I’m all at sea. Who’s going to tell me that I should have brought an umbrella when it’s pouring rain and I’m soaked. Who’s going to measure exactly how much milk and sugar I need to get my coffee perfect no matter how long I brewed it? Who’s going to put the shattered pieces of Jack’s heart and soul back together? Jack loves you. He may never have said the words but it’s so true. He’s going to remember you, in a trillion years time, believe me. Who’s going to be the silent strength when Gwen breaks? You and she clung to each other after the loss of Tosh and Owen. Who’s going to provide coffee to my now chemical-dependently people? Who’s going to make sure I have everything before leave the house?

Don’t leave me… us. It’s too soon, forever’s too soon. Stay with us, stay with me please please please. I can’t lose you, you’re my best friend, my conscience, my fucking favourite person breathing. Please Ianto, come back, please. I will miss you too much. This hurts too much.

I love you, Ianto. I always will. You tell Tosh and Owen that we miss them and love them for me, yeah?

I Stand on the Precipice

I started this in my head, as an email I would send to a friend, then maybe to maybe friends. But I decided to put it here instead. Don't know why, really.

I went to the bay today (that was an unfortunate rhyme) and I sat there, with a book I was fascinated by and just...breathed in the tang of the salt air. I've never been much for the ocean, I don't swim well and beach visits weren't habitual when I was growing up. But for some reason today...I just couldn't be anywhere other than sitting on the wall of the fort, facing the bay reading a book I enjoyed, watching minute crabs shuttle around in their sideways fashion.

I bought a chair. The first real piece of furniture that is truly and completely mine. I bought it and it was delivered today and is now set up in its rightful place, but for some reason today wasn't the day to try it out. That will be tomorrow. As I eat breakfast and sip my coffee, I'll settle with a book (probably the same one, I may not finish it today; otherwise some Douglas Adams) into that chair and feel like an adult for the first time.

We Provide...Leverage

I love Leverage! I finally finished watching the first season and am now enjoying the season premiere. Oh, I adore so much about this show: the characters (Parker! Eliot! Hardison!), the snark: ("What are the chances that Eliot's crotch will explode?"), the briliant schemes and scams.

It makes me want to be a thief...again.

And can I just say that Chris Kane is...he very much deserves his spot in the Brotherhood of Hot (with Jensen, Jared, Steve, and newcomer Aldis). I have NEVER been more turned on watching a man beat the crap out of someone and The Sixth Juror episode when his accent come out with a vengeance...phwoar! Yeah...*stares off dreamily*

Tomorrow for my Week in Geek, I get to talk about Tom and Harry Potter and then next week, discuss Torchwood. I love getting to tell people about my bao beis!

Friendship is Thicker Than Blood

So, I braved two five hours bus rides and getting up crazy early this morning (I hate when there are two 6 o'clocks in the same day) and you know what?

Rent was so totally worth it! The show was amazing and the cast! Anthony and Adam were brilliant, I knew they would be, but Anthony was even more spastically adorable than usual and Adam was...ZOMC, only feet away from me and awesome and yeah...*still swoony*
And the Maureen was the craziest chick ever and I love her (got her autograph!). And Angel? Baby, Angel was fierce and fabulous and is the origin of our group's new "Drumstick cross against EVIL". Anthony signed my program (I could start up a shop with all my autographs from that fantastic man), but *sadface* Adam did not stage door. So, instead of having him sign my shirt, I just told the stage manager to give it to him. Really, the point of it was I wanted Adam to see that his lyrics and his work really mean something to me because I know when people love my work and they tell me, I get all happy and I want Adam to be happy too.

One thing niggled. I'm sitting there, watching the show that brought the UFF together and yet, we're all broken apart. Alex is with Nina in one camp, with Aubrey and Evie in another and I've got a tenuous grasp on all of them, hoping somehow we might be about to fix what was...well, rent. I've never felt more like Mark.

Why am I the witness? Does it mean that it's the end and I'm alone? I'm here. Nowhere.

When the Universe Hands You A Giant Sign...

...you take it and go on with your life. Cute Priest...Brian is leaving. Going to another church, somewhere in Virginia I think. Good for him, sad for me because who will feed me for free every few weeks? (yeah, 'cause that's why I'm upset)

Anyway, promised only cheery, didn't I my lieblings?

In a strange turn of events, I found a CD I thought I'd lent out never to see again in freshman year. On it (Now 5...yeah, remember when they had Now CDs...remember when they weren't double digits) is the best of all the boy bands and singers I loved, including some I'd forgotten, some I remember, and one I remember the dance to ("It's Gonna Be Me"...What? I was young and foolish...and they were marionettes in the video!).

This stemmed from Al playing Will Smith (*hearts* this morning, so I actually looked at the Hip Hop section in the radio station. Found Shaggy ("Angel") and the late, great Aaliyah ("Try Again"), who was the first celebrity whose death made me cry (other notables: John Ritter, Jerry Orbach, Heath Ledger, and River Phoenix...if ten years later and most recently, Natasha Richardson).

Then I found the CD and ripped the songs and am now jamming out to SoulDecision, Britney Spears (back when she was awesome), BSB, 'NSync,, Mandy Moore (who's even more awesome now!), BBMak and my favourite song when I was younger "Absolutely (Story of a Girl)"

Look for a post about how much I ADORE Leverage once I've seen a few more episodes!