Last night I finally remembered to take my camera to Curtain Call so I could get pictures of my friends there to remember them by. That's when it hit me. I'm going to be gone soon and I'm going to miss these people. These five people are the friends I know I will see every week, the therapy group I'd be lost without. No matter how horrible a day has been, if I can go to Curtain Call and let the magic get me, it'll be all right. I always thought it was the magic of theatre, and of course that's a part of it too, but it's more the magic of having friends who love me and notice when I'm a little off one day.
I've faced a lot of hell this season, but they've seen me through all of it. I don't like to get emotional in the theatre because in the theatre it's a character, not you who gets the emotional journey. But when I just can't take it anymore, all five of them are there for me.
I have no idea what I'll do without them. It's funny. Four years ago, I didn't know a single one of them, but now my life would be so empty and incomplete and wrong without each of them. Funny that.
It's going to hurt like hell when I have to leave. I'm going to sob, it's going to break my heart, but so what? I've got them right now and I'm holding on for the time I have, no matter how much it will hurt later on. The good times with them now will outweigh the bad I'll feel when I leave.